Sunday, August 28, 2011

Top Ten Signs That My Teenage Years are Behind Me

I just jumped in the shower and realized that I was out of soap. When I searched for more under my sink, all I had left was a bar of Mickey soap that I stole from the Fort Wilderness Resort last October (Food & Wine Fest 2010, w00t w00t!) (Did anyone catch the Cash Cab episode when the answer was w00t w00t? I'm still confused). When I was younger, I never would have thought to save that soap in case I needed it. This got me thinking about the little details that prove that I am getting older. And a top ten list was born!

Top Ten Signs That My Teenage Years are Behind Me:
  1. I think twice about buying things, and I never use credit cards.  When I was in high school and college, I never worried about buying things. I had these magical pieces of plastic called credit cards, and I could have whatever I wanted. I'm still paying for that stupid Juicy strapless dress or shirt or whatever it was that I just HAD to have in 2005.  Good thing I bought that and its 95,000 identical friends, because every time I wore it people asked me when I was "due," and I cried.
  2. I don't even want to walk past Abercrombie & Fitch. If I smell that ridiculous amount of cologne that is probably pumped through the air conditioning system like those spray fans at Sea World, hear that blasting music that I can't even think over, or have to see a fourteen year old without any clothes on standing inside the door "modeling," I'm probably going to puke. Pretty soon I'll probably start calling it Ambercrombie. That store needs to go out of business before I procreate, because I can't handle it.
  3. I feel like an uncomfortable poser when I wear low-rise jeans. In fact, I actually don't wear low rise jeans. I don't think that it looks like I'm wearing mom jeans...uh-oh, I just realized that it probably looks like I'm wearing mom jeans.
  4. I drive a RAV-4.  It's a cross-over vehicle, that's really cool, right?
  5. I actually have to think about what is going into my body. If I don't, I get fat instantly. There's no room for mistakes. And I prefer my mom's home cooking to McDonald's.
  6. I don't listen to music very often in the car. If I do, it might even be Enya or Pure Moods. And instead of changing the channel with a flourish when I hear talk radio, I actually LOOK for it! What?!
  7. I actually tried to talk to a teenager about how he should listen to me about his college choices, because I've been through it before and I know what I'm talking about. I'm sure I made a great impact on his life. He's probably already mapped out his entire college career and beyond, thanks to my sage advice. I think he owes me money.
  8. I still call gift cards "gift certificates." This one always makes me think of you, Alli. You called this years ago.
  9. I don't want to drive around aimlessly just because I'm bored. Call me crazy, but I actually don't want to drive around ever. I'd rather clean my house than waste expensive gas money on pointless driving!
  10. I fall asleep while reading in bed within the first 15 minutes about 90% of the time. I used to be able to read for HOURS in bed. What's happening?
I'm sure I forgot some, so there may be a Part II coming soon.


  1. 1. I am a sucker for lists
    2. This was a really good one
    3. I have to admit, I still feel the urge to drive around aimlessly sometimes. But most of the other points on your list I can relate to.
    4. Was the boy you were referring to in # 7 my little brother? I really need to know.
    5. I miss you and I will see you next month!!!!! <3

  2. Haha yes Sarah! I cornered Tinzos at his going away to college party. I'm sure he's grateful. As soon as I left, I was like, "Why did I do that?!"

    I miss you too and I can't wait to see you at Kristen's wedding! It's going to be so much fun!

  3. Excellent list. I often think about the driving aimlessly part as I used to do that all the time. I don't want to walk past abercrombie because the music is too loud...strange I never thought I would say something like that.

  4. I am cracking up right now because you are so funny and because everything on this list is completely true!!! I'm pretty sure that I've done every single one of these things, or something comparable, very recently. I just got called out on my use of "gift certificates" the other day! And that's just the beginning of things I say wrong lately!
    Don't even get me started on Abercrombie (don't EVEN get me started)!